How’s it going? Brian here. Today is Thursday; if you’ve been following our social media you know Chrystal was admitted to the hospital on Monday. She’s not doing good.
First off… thank you to everyone for all of your love and support. We’ve had so many people reach out to us, it’s just absolutely humbling. We have so much gratitude for all of you.
The Past
So to catch you all up on what’s going on with Chrystal, here’s the short version.
When I turned 40 in April, due do Chrystal really dropping a ton of weight… I urged us to both go get our 40-year check-up. Mine came out awesome, Chrystal’s doctor found lumps on her thyroid.
Chrystal has lost 65+ pounds over the past several months and no-one knows why. She’s had an uncountable amount of doctor’s appointments to try to find out why. Tons of tests, everything comes back completely normal. Our running joke is that Chrystal is the healthiest sick person out there.
Fast forward, Chrystal has had many doctors, ultrasounds and tests and tests and more tests.
Fast forward to this past Monday, Chrystal had an episode that lead us to the ER here at Sharp Memorial Hospital in San Diego. (This hospital is beyond awesome, the doctors and staff are amazingly awesome.)
What’s happening right now!
Chrystal is down to right at 100lbs, she has no strength in her legs; she can’t walk. Not only that she’s also in pain, especially in her legs. Her muscles are eating themselves because her body is not absorbing nutrition, she has no strength. She has pain all throughout her body. She also has extreme pain up her neck into her ear and over her eye and around her face.
We just saw our doctor. Our doctor here is wonderful. She has ordered every test she can think of and so far everything has come back completely normal. We’re waiting on the biopsy from her thyroid which we’ll hopefully have the results of that tomorrow. There are several other tests which have been run that we will not have the results back for up to a couple of weeks (cultures and such).
You’ve got to be joking, right?
Now here’s where things get sticky… Before I get into it, I just want to say the insurance situation and medical situation in our country are absolutely ridiculous. Our healthcare system is true insanity.
Doctors have to treat around insurance based standards instead of doing what they think and know what is right to do, that’s so messed up. They can’t do Y without doing X first, even if they know Y needs to be done right now.
And if your sickness/ illness/ health falls outside of the insurance coverage box, you are S.O.L. with receiving healthcare… for real.
Before I go further I’m going to quote our doctor in referring to her biopsy, “I’m not saying there is nothing wrong with you, obviously there is something major going on, you are absolutely sick. Your insurance won’t allow you to be here past tomorrow unless the test (biopsy) comes back tomorrow showing something abnormal. So far all of your tests have come back completely normal… other than the nodules on your thyroid which by your insurance standards are not enough to keep you here. Like I said, you are obviously sick and there is absolutely something going on with you, I’m not dismissing that, it’s just your insurance.”
So what does that mean? It means one of the 4 things is going to happen tomorrow:
- If we don’t get the biopsy results back tomorrow… Chrystal will be discharged.
- If we get the biopsy results back tomorrow and they are normal… Chrystal will be discharged.
- If we get the biopsy results back tomorrow and they show cancer… Chrystal gets to stay in the hospital.
- A miracle happens and Chrystal gets to stay in the hospital. This is where she needs to be right now.
After the doctor came in, Chrystal had a Reiki session (this hospital is fancy AF and insurance covers that and her aromatherapy). After her Reiki, the Physical Therapist came in and did an assessment on Chrystal… and her assessment is that Chrystal is too weak to do the basics, like dressing herself and walking… yet our insurance covers Reiki and aromatherapy.
And with Chrystal being “absolutely sick” and not able to walk or dress herself… being discharged tomorrow is a real possibility.
I know we can’t be the only people who are facing/ have faced this type of complete and utter B.S. out there?
Now what?
I really truly just don’t know. Right now they’re leaning towards cancer… that’s a hard pill to swallow. But if it is, at least we will have an answer and know what we’re fighting.
If it’s not cancer… which we really truly hope and pray it’s not, we’re back to the drawing board and doing it from home.
This entire experience is surreal. None of this insurance stuff makes sense to me. I don’t know how I’m going to take care of Chrystal if she is discharged tomorrow. Obviously, I will take care of her, the kids, the business, the house and everything else. It’s just a lot and I’ll get it all done. I just don’t understand.
I just got off the phone with the office manager of Chrystal’s primary doctor. They’re all super nice and awesome. She was shocked when I told her what was going on with the potential of Chrystal being discharged. And then again, with the deterioration of medical insurance and coverage here in the U.S., this is turning into the new norm.
Chrystal has a follow-up appointment with her primary doctor scheduled for Tuesday, just in case she is discharged. And that’s so we can try to keep the ball moving.
Our Daughters
Our girls, my heart is breaking and I feel so bad for both of them having to deal with this craziness. They are both scared and always on the verge of tears. They don’t have to say anything, we can see it in their eyes and feel it in their energy.
No child should be scared, be in fear or have the question run through their head of “is mommy going to die?”
They are so worried. All kids should be happy, playing and enjoying their childhood… not worrying about their parents’ health. This is the very last thing any child should have to deal with and it hurts so bad that it’s our children dealing with it.
And when they ask that question, “Is mommy going to die?”
What do you say?
“Mommy’s going to be okay!”
No, that’s a lie, because we don’t know.
Our kids aren’t stupid, they are very observant and can obviously see Chrystal’s decline. They can see she’s in pain, they can see she’s not doing good. They wouldn’t believe a lie if we told them one. In fact, Kaylee called us out on it about 2 weeks ago by yelling at us, “Mommy isn’t getting better, she’s dying, stop saying she’s getting better because she’s not, stop saying that.”
What do you tell your 8-year-old when she screams at you in complete exasperation, frustration and fear?
Both girls have on way more than several occasions asked if Mommy was going to die and we now we say “we don’t know, but we’re trying our best to find someone who can help mommy get better.”
When you see your child’s teary-eyed face look up and ask you that… it takes everything in my power not to break down. It sucks so bad.
We love our girls so much and seeing them have all of this emotional pain is just beyond.
Be Grateful.
I’m all about trying to stay as positive as possible. I’m not going to go down the rabbit hole of negativity, which we all know is easy to fall into.
We are so grateful we’ve received the care we have so far. I truly believe this would be a very different kind of post if we wouldn’t have got Chrystal to and into the hospital when we did. I’m so grateful.
We’re grateful for each other and that we’ve stuck it out together when our marriage has been rocky. Every marriage goes through rough patches, statistically speaking at least half don’t survive rocky patches; we have. I’m so grateful.
This is not a rough or rocky patch in our marriage… not by any means. We are closer to each other than we’ve ever been. In sickness and in health, we’re here for each other. I’m so grateful.
Our kids are both healthy, smart, funny, inquisitive, a joy to be around and so much more than I can write… they’re the definition of beautiful. I’m so grateful.
No matter how bad it is, no matter how hard it is we are grateful for each other and for our family. We’re grateful for the love and support from our extended family and friends. We’re so grateful for all of you strangers who have reached out to us and have given your love and support, unconditional without even knowing us.
Thank you everyone again. We’ll get through this. We’re keeping our head up and we’re going to keep moving forward!
That Time the Dentist Missed an Infection for Over a Year